Charlotte's Web
by tinaxxyuan
Summary: A parody of E. B. White's classic, Charlotte's Web. A superficial spider named Charlotte meets a blunt, down-to-earth pig named Wilbur. When their lives are put in danger, the two come together and form a plan to save both their lives.


_This is my version of __Charlotte's Web__ (originally by E. B. White), which I wrote for my Writing 39B class :] I changed the personalities of Wilbur and Charlotte to show that the use of characterization and diction in a written piece are important factors to consider when writing for a particular audience. Although I roughly used the same plot and theme as the original, the audience that I ended up targeting was different than White's because of those changes. I hope you enjoy reading it :]_

Disclaimer: I am not the original author of Charlotte's Web and in no way mean to infringe on any copyrights out there. All rights to Charlotte's Web belong to E. B White.

It was a warm spring day that smelled faintly of blooming flowers. A young spider named Charlotte drifted through the air on a self-made silk balloon, forced to go wherever the breeze took her. As Charlotte drifted along, she thought about how the warm breeze had ruined her plans for the day and was proceeding to bring her farther and farther from her home. She had been celebrating the capture of her first "dining guest", as Charlotte preferred to call them, by sitting on top of a fence and enjoying the view, when a warm breeze had begun to blow. For no apparent reason, Charlotte had pointed her spinnerets in the air and let loose a cloud of fine silk that formed a little balloon. As she stared at her new creation impressed with the spontaneity and precise craftsmanship involved, a strong updraft suddenly lifted the balloon up, sweeping her off the fence and carrying her away from her home.

"Oh! Oh no!" Charlotte had exclaimed as the breeze carried her away. "Good-bye my beautiful web! I guess this is my moment for setting forth! Apparently, I'm destined to be an aeronaut! Good-bye! Good-bye!"

As the breeze carried her farther and farther from her home, Charlotte pondered the meaning of the word 'aeronaut' and how she had known it. With a mental shrug, her mind wandered back to the warm breeze and how it had ruined her wonderful plan, which would have gone something like this:

Lunch at ten past twelve. Her guest would be joining her of course. It was the least he could do after tearing a hole in her beautiful web. A web that now she would never go back to thought Charlotte bitterly.

From two to three, Charlotte planned to perform the necessary repairs on her beautiful home, which had acquired a tear in the activities last night. Performing the necessary repairs was hard work, but it needed to be fixed. After all, a ripped web was unsightly.

Around four, Charlotte was going to take a nice nap and hope that another guest would drop by her house.

The rest of the schedule all depended on what she felt like doing after the nap.

Just a short distance away, a young pig named Wilbur lay in a barn feeling the breeze on his face.

"Mmm… the nice scent of flowers blooming," said Wilbur. "Farmer Zuckerman isn't going to be happy, poor man. This allergy season is going to be the worst one yet."

With that, Wilbur got to his feet, walked over to a patch of hay that had just the right ratio of shade to sunlight and lay down to take a nap.

Meanwhile, the insistent wind had gotten tired, and Charlotte felt herself slowly beginning to descend. The wind gently placed Charlotte on a railing in a dimly lit old barn. As Charlotte's eyes adjusted to the new lighting, she looked around and tried to get her bearings.

"Well, no point in crying over what's already lost," thought Charlotte. "That would just be a waste of time that could be better spent on making a better web. I think I'll try a new pattern, which will improve how my web looks."

With that, Charlotte spotted a rafter that seemed to be a promising location for her new home. With a sigh, she began the climb up and began thinking about how she should position her web so that it would look the most aesthetically pleasing. Charlotte loved how her webs always caught the sun's rays and the morning dew—it fueled her artistic side and created a feeling of peace and serenity. "Zen-like in fact," thought Charlotte, pausing in the middle of her climb. Again, another word she didn't know. Charlotte shrugged and continued her climb.

As Wilbur lay on his stomach, he looked toward the sky and watched the birds soaring on the updrafts.

"If only pigs could fly", thought Wilbur. "Then I would be able to venture out into the world and meet other animals than the ones in this farm."

Just then, Wilbur noticed a spider meticulously making a web on the rafters above his pen. As Wilbur watched, he saw that the spider made several parts of the web over and over again, as if it were trying to make it as perfect as possible. With a dry smile, Wilbur noted that the spider had positioned her web so that it's strands reflected off the light in a most spectacular way.

"Salutations!" said Wilbur.

Charlotte started and almost fell out of her web. "Salu-what?" she cried.

"Salutations!" repeated Wilbur. "Salutations are greetings. When I say 'salutations', it's just my fancy way of saying hello or good morning. Actually, it's a trivial expression, and I'm surprised that I used it at all. My name is Wilbur. And what may I call you?"

"My name is Charlotte.", she replied. "And this is the web that I'm making now, doesn't it just glisten in the light?"

"Yes, yes it does. It really is quite spectacular," Wilbur said with a small smile. "When and how did you arrive here, Charlotte?" asked Wilbur.

"I was sitting on a fence this morning, when a sudden breeze can by and blew me off my fence. In that instant, I instinctively made a little sack with my thread and off I went! I'm still sad about losing my first web, but this one will be better than the other one, so I don't really mind." said Charlotte.

"Wow," said Wilbur. "You're an aeronaut! How I wish I could have ridden on the wind like you."

"What does that mean?" asked Charlotte, remembering how that word had randomly popped into her head before. "I used that word earlier today… without knowing what it meant."

The two continued their conversation long after the sun set and finally bid each other goodnight when they both could barely keep their eyes open.

As the spring turned to summer and summer to fall, Charlotte and Wilbur spent many hours talking and conversing, enjoying each other's company. One fall day, a little girl walked up to the barn with a stool and sat down next to Wilbur's pen. Wilbur and Charlotte warily eyed the little girl, who sat there staring at the two of them. After a long period of silence, they picked up their conversation and ignored the girl. As the two continued talking, a little boy appeared beside the girl, carrying a big stick.

"Whoa! Check out that giant spider web!" said the boy. "I'm going to poke it, and hopefully I'll be able to get the spider too!"

"No, Avery!" cried the girl. "Don't be mean! That's spider's web is beautiful—it's the prettiest one I've ever seen."

Wilbur looked up at Charlotte, concerned. The spider had begun trembling and had hastily scrambled to the upper-most corner of her beautiful web. However, when the girl had complimented her web, Charlotte had looked ever so slightly pinker. Wilbur rolled his eyes and was about to laugh, but being a good friend, he kept it in.

"Let me borrow your stool, Fern!" Avery said as he pushed Fern out of the way.

Avery grabbed the stool and placed it under Charlotte's web. He reached up with his stick and tried to poke her, but he was too short. After waving the stick around for a while, Avery grudgingly gave up and gave the stool back to Fern.

"Darn!" exclaimed Avery. "I'll be back tomorrow! Just you wait, spider!"

And with that, Avery ran back to the house. Fern apologetically glanced up at where Charlotte was hiding, picked up the stool, and slowly walked back toward the house.

Charlotte slowly crawled out of her hiding place.

"I don't want to die!" Charlotte sobbed while scrambling up and down her web. "I'm scared! I don't know what to do! That boy's going to come and not only destroy my beautiful home, but he's also going to kill me! He'll be back tomorrow! I'm too young to die! I still have many masterpieces to spin out! I'm an aeronaut! I can't die like this!"

"Charlotte!" said Wilbur briskly. "You shall not die."

"What? Really?" cried Charlotte. "Who's going to save me?"

"I am," said Wilbur.

"How?" asked Charlotte, looking a little hopeful.

"I still need to make up a plan, but I'm going to save you. You're crying in a childish way. I can't stand hysterics!" said Wilbur. "I've known from the beginning that I was going to be on the dinner table one day."

"What?" exclaimed Charlotte. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's fall right now," said Wilbur matter-of-factly. "And judging by the amount of sunlight every day, it's only a matter of time until Christmas swings around… which means, the traditional Christmas ham."

"Christmas… ham…?" asked Charlotte with trepidation.

"It's a ritual that the humans perform every year," said Wilbur with a shrug. "Around the end of every year, the humans prepare a lot of food, including a Christmas ham to celebrate. To put it bluntly, I'm going to be eaten. The whole reason I was raised was so that I would be eaten. It happens every year. There's nothing I can do about it… it'll be like… fulfilling my purpose in life. It's not the best way to die, but at least I'll have helped you. And that's all that matters."

"No," Charlotte said.

"No…?" asked Wilbur, slightly taken aback.

"No," said Charlotte. "You're just going to sit there and let that be the whole purpose of your life? That's ridiculous. We'll make up a plan together… a plan that will save both of us."

After a brief moment of silence, Wilbur chuckled softy.

"Or we'll die trying," he replied dryly.

Wilbur looked up at Charlotte, glad that the wind had brought her to the barn; Fate was a funny thing. The two friends began discussing possible ways that they could prevent Avery from reaching Charlotte's web. After a while, the two fell silent and a meditative quiet ensued. After a few minutes, Wilbur slowly began to smile.

"I got it!" Wilbur said suddenly, startling Charlotte. "Humans are gullible creatures… we might just be able to pull this off. Do you know how to write, Charlotte?"

"'Gullible?'" Charlotte asked. "What does that mean? And no, I don't know how to write."

"It means easy to fool." Said Wilbur dismissively. "Well, that's not too big of a problem. I can write it on the ground, and you can just copy whatever I've written. All you need to do is copy the basic shape."

"How is writing going to help us?" Charlotte asked, confused.

"What if…" suggested Wilbur. "You wrote words in your web? I'm sure that the Zuckermans will be so amazed that there're words in a spider web, that they won't dare knock it down. After all, something like this doesn't happen every day."

"Do you think that I'm an acrobat?" asked Charlotte sarcastically. "I've seen letters before, and they're filled with all sorts of lines, and curves. With my talent, I could probably do it, but that still wouldn't help you."

To herself, Charlotte secretly grimaced at the thought of turning her gorgeous web into a billboard.

"True." replied Wilbur.

And the two became silent.

"That wouldn't work…" said Charlotte, beginning to smile. "Unless, what I wrote in the web was about you! If I wrote something like… say… "Some Pig!" That way, the Zuckermans will be doubly surprised, and both of us will be safe!"

Charlotte grimaced again at the thought of her beautiful web bearing the words "Some Pig", but she was willing to sacrifice it if it meant saving her friend's life.

"Brilliant!" exclaimed Wilbur. "That could actually work! But Charlotte, wouldn't that mean ruining your web? I know how much you care about your web. We can find other ways to do it."

"It would," agreed Charlotte. "But, it won't if I give it my all. I'll show the world the most beautiful web it has ever seen.

With that, Charlotte began working on the web right away, with the help of Wilbur, who wrote out the words on the ground with his hoof. As Charlotte worked late into the night, Wilbur stayed up with her to keep her company. Just as the sun began to rise, Charlotte finished the last letter. The two looked up at Charlotte's web as the sun rose and began to cast its first rays. Charlotte's web was truly something special to behold. The words "Some Pig!" were neatly woven into the web and the morning dew was already beginning to gather on the delicate strands. Exhausted, the two said goodnight to each other and went to sleep.

A few hours later, Charlotte and Wilbur woke to the sound of Avery and Fern's approaching footsteps. Fern's voice could be heard as she tried to persuade Avery to leave Charlotte's web alone, but to no avail. As Avery approached the barn, he could be seen carrying a small ladder and a longer stick. Wilbur and Charlotte made eye contact with each other and hoped that their endeavors had paid off. As Avery prepared to set the ladder against the side of the barn, Fern ran off, unable to watch Avery destroy the beautiful web.

"I'm going to get it today," thought Avery. "This time for…"

Avery stopped and stared at the words on Charlotte's glistening web. It had to be a dream. Avery closed his eyes and looked again. The words were still there. Dropping the ladder and the stick with a clatter, Avery sprinted back to the house.

"I-I think you'd better come down to the barn," gasped Avery as he barged into the house. "You'll never believe what I saw! I-it's impossible…"

Mr. Zuckerman gave Avery a concerned look, and without a word, walked out the door and headed toward the barn. Avery stood in shock for a couple of seconds, then followed Mr. Zuckerman out to the barn.

Charlotte and Wilbur were still laughing at Avery's shocked face when they saw Mr. Zuckerman approaching the barn. The two stopped laughing. This was the real test.

Mr. Zuckerman stared at the writing on Charlotte's web and murmured the words "Some Pig!" under his breath. Mr. Zuckerman looked pale as he looked back and forth between Wilbur and Charlotte.

"Some pig!" muttered Avery.

"Some pig!" whispered Mr. Zuckerman. The two looked at Wilbur for a long time. Then they stared at Charlotte. As the two stood there staring, Wilbur and Charlotte knew that they had done it; they were both going to be spared.

"Some pig…" Avery muttered again.

"Some… bacon…" he said again, wolfishly grinning now.

Mr. Zuckerman looked at Avery. Without saying a word, he went into the pen and pushed Wilbur out. Charlotte's smile froze on her face and slowly turned to one of horror.

"Well, I guess this is it, Charlotte," said Wilbur with a slight tremor in his voice. Wilbur swallowed and continued, the tremor now gone from his voice. "It was really nice knowing you… but I knew this was bound to happen… it was inevitable. We tried, but… I guess it just wasn't enough. Thank you for being such a good friend to me."

"Wilbur… oh, Wilbur," repeated Charlotte as she began to cry. "No! Don't take him away! Please!"

Mr. Zuckerman pushed Wilbur, nudging him toward the house. Wilbur began to walk away from the barn, turning back to look at Charlotte one last time. And with that final glance, the three made their way toward the house.

Charlotte hung on her web in disbelief. Where had it all gone wrong? Charlotte knew she should have angled the web a little more. She had made an amateurish mistake. Some of the lines could have been neater too. She had blown it. And now, her only friend was now dead. Wilbur… oh, Wilbur… thought Charlotte, his name echoing inside her head. Charlotte remembered the days when he would call out her name. "Charlotte! Charlotte! So I was thinking," he would begin, and the two would continue talking for hours. She missed the sound of his voice calling her name.

"Charlotte!"

Charlotte cried even louder, saddened by the thoughts of her memories. It was all too painful. It seemed like they had met just yesterday.

"Charlotte! Charlotte!" cried the voice, sounding closer.

Charlotte looked up, startled.

"Wilbur?" she called out, looking around for him.

"Charlotte!" Wilbur called back, sounding watery. "They're not going to eat me! They just took me to the house to give me a bath! They decided to make me into a show pig! Isn't that great? I'll finally get to see the world, just as I've always wanted to! And the best part is, I won't be eaten!"

Charlotte cried louder, as Wilbur was brought into sight and was put back into the pen. Charlotte lowered herself from her web until she was at eye level with Wilbur. The two looked at each other, laughing and crying at the same time.

"Hey, pig!" said Mr. Zuckerman. "Look this way! I need to take your picture to enter you in the contest!"

Wilbur turned his head toward Mr. Zuckerman, and the picture was taken.

Years later, Fern wandered back to the barn, the barn where Wilbur had once been held. On the wall of the barn were rows of ribbons and an old faded picture of Wilbur and Charlotte's web bearing the words "Some Pig!" If one looked closely at the picture, one could make out a little black spider, hanging just to the right of Wilbur. Many years had passed since the picture was taken, and although the two were no longer there, Fern was sure that the friendship between them would last forever.


End file.
